Fourteen years ago I made a New Year’s resolution to eliminate toxic people from my life. I had two particular people in mind when I made this promise to myself, and in the short run the resolution (to which I stayed faithful) had the desired effect. I was free. Free!
Until the days of reckoning arrived. I’d decided to eliminate these people from my life, as if they no longer existed. But, of course, they did still exist. And of course our paths crossed again.
Turns out, though, that “ghosting” (a word that wasn’t even in the vernacular in 2006…) doesn’t actually solve anything long term, because ignoring a problem doesn’t resolve it.
With the benefit of a few extra years and the help of some good friends and mentors, when the dark forces made their reentry, I was able to understand that releasing their hold on me was something I had to do, inside myself, instead of hoping I could avoid these people forever.
Your situations may be very different from mine, but I’ll wager that there is someone in your world, even if on the periphery, whose presence is a net negative for you. Someone who elicits the worst, not the best, from you.
Someone who makes you feel shitty.
Today’s your lucky day, friend, because today is housekeeping day. It’s the day you’re brave enough to let that shitty someone go, in a way that only you can navigate.
Need a bit of inspiration? Have a look at Nadia Bolz-Weber’s “Forgive Assholes” talk (one of my favorites of all time, ever).
No need to wait for the turn of the calendar page to start on this resolution. Go ahead; make a plan today. Write it down, then follow through, because you deserve good people in your world.
Make it so.
See you tomorrow.
P.S. – Every day, for two more days, I post the book: December Sanity Journal.